February 17th was the date all TV’s in the US were supposed to all… something or other… I dont care.  Here’s the new Idea.  If Congress and … friends… in the FCC can mandate a day for you to lose the significantly inferior signal of analog cable, no matter how attached you’ve become to it… get ready… could we add a little sidenote into this legislation saying…

On the Same Day TV’s go Digital, If you have not joined the latter half of your decade by upgrading from Internet Explorer 5/6 to at Least IE7, you will be at risk for the following:

  • PC initiates self-format to erase your whole fail-worthy pc.
  • all social networking & email sites will cancel and ban your account
  • any amount of money currently held in a bank account you check regularly online will be forfeit to web developers and designers who have spent DAYS bent over backwards trying to accomodate and coddle your blatant disregard for the progress of technology by simply clicking “UPDATE NOW,”
  • you will be formatted from the face of the interwebz!!
  • polariods and hard copies of photos of cherished family members will go missing!
  • your car will develop a strange smell that you’ll never be able to put your finger on nor will you be able to ignore it!

I’m no writer nor politicial anything, so I’m sure someone removed from my current irritation can easily remove the hate from this fine, fine piece of legislation.  In the words of St. John Stewart, “Make it so, monkey paw!”



Leave a Reply

Avatar placeholder